I thought I would tell you about my hectic life at uni so far...i have been here two days and have already been dragged to the drs to get the morning after pill. unfortunately i have recently been a bit of an idiot and haven't really thought through the consequences of my actions, which i am willing to put my hands up to and admit. I just didn't know how to get around the lack of condom thing. that may sound ridiculous and i know i should just have come out and said 'what the fuck do you think you are playing at' but its not as easy as it sounds. I trust him, I really do, but my 'closed book' functions still remain relatively closed despite being a lot more readable than i used to be. i started to once again get in too deep but after two days at uni without any form of contact i feel fine (which has actually suprised me) but i have come to the conclusion that i cannot do sex without feeling (particularly with someone who i actually have feelings for in the first place).
why is everything so hard? a random topic of convo this easter has regularly been 'can you see yourself living with me/having children with me/being married to me' - what the hell is he on about...seriously men are weird (im just hoping after the lack of baby prevention issue X several times is not an indicator of wanting a baby asap)
eugh well anyway...Easter was generally eventful (as per usual) my social life/sex life etc is always one to provide scandal. part of me is hoping that all of this is not just a very large waste of my time. maybe something is to come of it...maybe that sounds desperate? its not meant to be..it's a serious question. Am I wasting my time falling for the same person each and every moment I spend with them (no lie) or is it going to benefit my life in the long run? if only I could get out my chrystal ball and have a little gaze into the future to see where i will be in two years time...but then i suppose lifes mysteries would all be solved and there would be nothing to worry about....
as the Chinese saying goes 'happiness doesn't come from happiness' - it comes from hard work and dire situations...
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