Still believe Me...?

I once received the best news...I hadn't lost my left ear afterall

Monday, July 28, 2008

well it has been a couple of weekends since i was last on here. a couple of weekends closer to me leaving the country.
life is bobbing along quite nicely in the sun tho i have recently discovered that i am rather scared about moving out in a couple of weeks, its much worse than just going to uni and me being me have let myself go slightly in the sense that i believe i have come to like people a bit too much to just leave without being hurt. in fact it already hurts and i have found myself getting a bit upset now and again. however i dont want people to know this. i want to be happy, smiley etc etc because being upset tends to spoil things and i really really dont want to appear like im spoiling things. so for now i will continue being happy happy. although i do think a couple of people may have caught on to the fact that i am terrified and upset. i even think dan realises. he knows there is something wrong but im crap at telling the truth. he even told me that i am being a closed book again....i really dont like being a closed book but if i stop then surely it looks like im trying to get attention???i dont need people to know things about me. why would people care that much anyway? surely it shouldn't bother them if there was something wrong - it would only bother them because they would want to get over it and move on with life so techniqually im just saving their time and my humiliation being happy. and anyway i want to be happy so where does the problem lie???

in other news i have had a lovely weekend. mini 'dinner party' at dans on thurs, SJH's on fri night for bbq and pass the parcel (hilairities), dans on sat for bbq and DNA in the eve in the Salthouse, yesterday spent in the sun in clevedon cricket grounds with lynne dan and martyn.

i think that is about all for now. i should be going to the mall tonight and then who can tell what is happening for the rest of the week...two weeks to go (which is slowly starting to sink in.



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