NEW YEAR

well i have left a bit of time to think over the drunken experiences of Christmas Meal. New Year's Eve came next. An evening, which was so long it may take me a while to remember all of the happenings and scandals etc etc. Arrived at destination at approximately 18:30 with Lynne and a car full of things-mainly alcohol (which was a bad sign). got there to find the friendlies playing darts, this called for a drink of (wait for it...) CIDER woohoo cider was drank and got rid of-this is always a plus. then a game of knock-out pool, which i have to say i did not lose, a small miracle with my track record of ball skills (no sexual inuendo intended).
Anna and myself then had an excitable few minutes whilst we watched the Spice Girls discuss their life so far, which we were mocked about by Jeff (he who spent sunday night watching darts in the pub when he was meant to be focusing on his son).
i then broke my bracelet which i have been wearing on the same wrist for four and a half years but got over this when Berti mended it (however it is now a little broken again, but fixable).
i think after this trauma we recreated last years stupid idea of 'shot creation', which involved a lot of baileys, archers, malibu, apple sours and orange squash. it did entertain for a while tho and proceeded to get us all a tad on the merry side. food was then needed and a couple of pizzas were devoured in about 5 mins however was still a tad on the peckish side :-s .
we then played a couple of games in the conservatory-girls vs boys and another game involving a box and a rather substantial amount of alcohol-the time seemed a lot later than it actually was (10.30).
after this, we chatted for a bit and then it was MIDNIGHT. i felt a tad too merry just beforehand and had to drink J2O in order to make it to this 'final hour'. we then drank champagne, danced in the living room with the older peoples and then escaped back to the kitchen to probably drink some more!!!
-so far i seem to have just been describing mass drunkenness but when i think about it, that is all New Year's appears to be about-i believe being at home is very bad for me as it is turning me into an alcoholic
anyways...
we then played Scene It (during which i fell asleep briefly) and ate much food such as spring rolls and sausages etc etc!!
after this, the night becomes slightly blurry and bizarre. Martyn decided it was a good idea to live up the name of the 'man whore', we were made to watch Meatloaf-always a bad bad sign, and i ended up sat on daniel. everyone went to bed, as did i (with him) and fell asleep in the early hours of the morning after having a sexual few hours.
the next day i stayed in bed for a long time partially to hide my humiliation and also because i was too ashamed to venture downstairs to face the eyes of the predators.
unfortunatly, 'getting over' is becoming less and less of an option in life and my closure has been somewhat invaded by my own stupidity. but as university reapproaches, everything seems a tad more bearable!!

Last year i created a list of new year's resolutions. i seem to believe that these have all been fulfilled, abided by etc etc, which is a great plus in life.
this year i will write some more
1. pass uni exams in order to get myself across the atlantic
2. get over-it would be a wonderful thing if this was possible and honestly by this time next year, if i am not over it, i will be seaking medical help if i have not gone for a long walk down a short pier
3. get myself to america in one piece and have a grand time-cos life is too short for me to mess this up
4. keep up with writing ramblings as the mind can only hold so much information, which is easily forgotten (unfortunately alcohol is a key culprit of this terrible amnesia)
5. learn a new life skill-so far have not thought of one but im sure one will come to me within the next year
6. keep in touch-with everyone in my life, making an effort not to forget people who don't always come to mind straight away
7. to stop being an idiot, or at least to stop regretting it when i am- how much of my time is being waste worring about things that in the grand scheme of things really don't matter (such as hiding from things or trying to escape the world for as long as possible)
8. learn a few new words so that my essays are not made up of 'however' and 'despite this'
9. write something worth reading-seriously
10. have a good year and try not to cry as much as the last one!!

Right well, i think i suddenly turned sentimental, definately not good for the constitution of my soul.
i need to continue with a bit of revision in a mo. currently my day has been rather productive, which makes a change-one has not been drunk, hungover, asleep, thinking that they are about to face demise....
Happy New Year

xxxxx