Still believe Me...?

I once received the best news...I hadn't lost my left ear afterall

Monday, January 24, 2011

just thought i would get a few things off my chest...
1. yes i have been 'seeing' dan again...when i say seeing i do not mean we went out on dates, we just went out, in a completely friend focused capacity and whether i want more than that or not, i will not be getting more than that, as I am fairly sure he does not want it.
2. yes i still have sex with him on occassion. i have absolutely no self-respect whatsoever...but then maybe i am ok with this, who am i to mess with fate??
3. alright, alright, so i may still be in love with him. this i cannot change. i believe i have got over feeling any sort of pain (except when im drunk), which i think is helped by the fact that sex and conversation is still on the menu...i know this is wrong and looks ridiculous but i cannot help how i feel.

As i read in my book today, you always fall for someone who you probably shouldn't i.e. Romeo and Juliet, i of course don't plan on killing myself for love, but i cant help but think, maybe i am sacrificing a life of love for someone who is as up and down as a kangaroo on crack...but, god help me for saying this, maybe there is a reason behind my madness. I do keep saying everything happens for a reason...but i shouldn't force the reason. I will now take a back seat for a while and wait and see. But maybe i should stop waiting, maybe i'm a fool for believing in something that probably is not even there.



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