i have under a week until my dissertation is due in, and one day left before i trek into town to get it bound and printed and all that palava, so much finish reading through it one last time today and hoping that my mother will also have read it before tomoro :s

i went home this weekend just gone, various ideas flung about between me and dan, including giving up, going on a break...have decided to stay together and see each other less. this i am glad about, i dont want to break up with him, i want this plan to work and i want it to work so badly that i am willing to do anything to try and help it. now that he doesnt phone me everyday, and now i text him less, when these things happen i can feel my heart beating faster...overly lovey dovey i know, but certainly true. i know that i love him, there is no doubt in my mind that this is true, i dont feel as on edge as i did last week, i dont cry at every moment and i can sleep through the night until a sensible hour of the morning, but im still treading on eggshells. i dont want to accidently go in to over kill and talk to him too much. i think im also worried about the weekend, after he told me that recently he has spent weekends being glad that im not there, which hurt because i never feel like that about him and always think my weekend would be better with him there. but i know deep down that this weekend should be fine, we both do whatever we want to do and then i go home next week and hopefully easter will be happy and fun and we can go on holiday at the end of it without worrying. that is what i want to happen, very very badly. i dont want us to end, it would be worse than when it ended last time, just keep trying and maybe, just maybe, everything will be ok.

xx