hello friends.

A post to start July...today it is independence day, not that this means very much. I only have 2 hours of work today because one of the people I go and visit died the other day. It was the most bizarre experience I think I have ever had, therefore I thought I should relay it on here. This is the first death I have encountered. He went downhill after a very good day on friday and finally gave up on Monday afternoon. I think I got to his house about 45minutes later. Having never seen a dead body before I was unsure as to what to expect but he did genuinely look as though he was sleeping, other than his slightly blue lips you wouldn't know. His hands and head got cold rather quickly but several of us did stand around his bed talking and (oddly) laughing, drinking tea etc for a good 3 hours which was all very odd. We washed him and dressed him for the last time and after the funeral people came to take him we all migrated into the lounge for wine and pizza and had a very good night.
It is all very odd this 'death' thing. I think it is such a great taboo which is quite ridiculous. If everyone could stand around a dead body drinking tea I think people would be much more open to talk about these things rather than wanting to cover it all up. and it stops it from being overwhelmingly upsetting. We had a good night, we held his hand, we said goodbye and it wasn't a sad thing.
I will never forget all of the experiences I had with him. It is amazing how you can get to know a person so well and become very emotionally attached to them when they can't communicate with you or control anything they do for themselves. I am happy that I was allowed to be there at the end to say goodbye and yes I was upset but our whole attitude to death (specifically his death) made everything so very easy to cope with and all I could do was smile.

So that was what has happened this week so far. I am getting really rather bored with C. I am seeing him tonight but not for long. He also really annoyed me with his attitude to what was going on with me earlier this week. I was 'not texting him enough', in my defence I was having a bit of a crisis. He didn't stop to ask me how I was, he just kept on rambling about when I was going to have the time to see him....total waste of space.

In other news, there is still 'guy from work', who I had 'fun times' with in the car the other day, which was kind of needed after being to see the very ill man before he died. It sort of took my mind off it. He also took me to the dentist yesterday (very nice of him) and I am going to his on friday, which I am looking forward to. Maybe I like him more at the moment as he understands what I'm feeling about the other day and I can talk to him about it without him getting bored.

And finally, myself and lynne got together last night to play scrabble, which I lost (unfortunately). We then preceded to spend the night discussing 'sexual deviance' and what constitutes 'devience'..we do have some odd conversations!

I believe I have now exhausted my writing abilities for the morning and am now off to the gym. Have a good day :) x