Still believe Me...?

I once received the best news...I hadn't lost my left ear afterall

Thursday, July 31, 2008

created something hilarious yesterday...'Snow White and the Pleasure Dwarfs'.....i swear everything that is invented and is funny has sexual came about while discussing wearing skirts when having sexytime in public spaces...definitely having a case of the one track mind methinks.....

feeling ill recently, ie backpain, feeling sick, stabbing pain in kidneys...i really do hope i am not falling apart at the seems....this is a very bad time to get ill.

im hoping its all to do with stress and will have disappeared in two weeks - i do not wish to be ill in a foreign country :-s
i have spoken to my roomate - interesting.

going out tonight to play poker at dans...i contemplated not going but he text saying he thought i was being weird with him so had better go and rectify this issue!!!!


Monday, July 28, 2008

well it has been a couple of weekends since i was last on here. a couple of weekends closer to me leaving the country.
life is bobbing along quite nicely in the sun tho i have recently discovered that i am rather scared about moving out in a couple of weeks, its much worse than just going to uni and me being me have let myself go slightly in the sense that i believe i have come to like people a bit too much to just leave without being hurt. in fact it already hurts and i have found myself getting a bit upset now and again. however i dont want people to know this. i want to be happy, smiley etc etc because being upset tends to spoil things and i really really dont want to appear like im spoiling things. so for now i will continue being happy happy. although i do think a couple of people may have caught on to the fact that i am terrified and upset. i even think dan realises. he knows there is something wrong but im crap at telling the truth. he even told me that i am being a closed book again....i really dont like being a closed book but if i stop then surely it looks like im trying to get attention???i dont need people to know things about me. why would people care that much anyway? surely it shouldn't bother them if there was something wrong - it would only bother them because they would want to get over it and move on with life so techniqually im just saving their time and my humiliation being happy. and anyway i want to be happy so where does the problem lie???

in other news i have had a lovely weekend. mini 'dinner party' at dans on thurs, SJH's on fri night for bbq and pass the parcel (hilairities), dans on sat for bbq and DNA in the eve in the Salthouse, yesterday spent in the sun in clevedon cricket grounds with lynne dan and martyn.

i think that is about all for now. i should be going to the mall tonight and then who can tell what is happening for the rest of the week...two weeks to go (which is slowly starting to sink in.


Friday, July 18, 2008

this time last week I was in Cullumpton with the friends, playing cricket and siting in the rain, swimming in the sea and drinking a lot.
this week I have not done a lot. Went to a funeral yesterday but get to go to a wedding tomorrow...always good!!

After a week of no sexytime but a few encounters of sexual tension, Saturday ended up being a bit of a sex fest at Lynne's house...Dan and I, Lynne and could defintely tell that a week had gone by without anything happening.
This all happened post beer and cider festival (fab invention if only it hadn't rained). no one got scandalously plastered this year it was all rather well restrained!!

anyway this week plodded on went to pub quiz, have been given new nickname of princess (one is not amused). James is slowly starting to tred on very thin ice when it comes to being inappropriate with anything i say or do - not that he knows what i do...i will have to have words because it is rather annoying.
I felt a bit of sexual tension post pub quiz...being asked back for a 'nightcap' only ever means one thing....omg i believe that is the signal; i have a signal; ive never thought about it in this way before...'nightcap' bloody hell - its like a 'booty call' - eughph, i feel used.
anyway no booty call happened. i restrained myself and went home feeling a tad disgruntled.
anyway got a text straight away asking me out last self restraint only goes so far. I took up the offer and decided i wanted a 'nightcap'. several glasses of wine later and everything seemed perfectly normal. i don't think that nomal is a good thing, i need to avoid normal because as soon as things become normal i want them to occur regularly in a normal way. hhmm i dont know if that makes sense.

basically he is not a fuck buddy (as i previously established) he is complicated and im going to have to live with complicated for the next 3 and a half weeks.
im sure i will go through a trauma moment in a few days, im currently worryingly complacent...obviously still feeling uplifted from my night of passion - why is it so bloody addictive??