i have been writing an essay today. i have written about 1000 words which is quite good going i suppose. i hope to have it finished by the end of the weekend!!
other than that my day has been relatively unproductive.
i am feeling very umphless as of late. really cannot be bothered to do very much. i may watch a film in a minute depends if i can find a good one.
went out last night to a place called Fat Cat with the lovely course friendlies. really really cheap. £10 bought me a starter and main course and a cocktail....incredible!!
was excessively full tho when i got home and had to clean the house to help it all go down!!! i properly cleaned the kitchen, though you wouldn't know that by looking at it today >: (
hhmm eugh umphless...really need to find something to do. oooo i cant member if i wrote on here yest but there was an earthquake in the early hours of wed morn - 5.2!!! was quite exciting if a tad scary, my books fell off my shelf!!!
well anyhoo may go and get some squash and discover a film to watch, maybe American Gangster!!! may look on a top ten film list to see what i haven't seen!!
xxxx

got back to uni yesterday, in lectures today!
feeling a bit sad atm, i think i started to enjoy being at home because life was generally easier at home. i also have to go and argue with the stupid doctors tomorrow which is annoying, i have to start my essays, catch up on mass work and do seminar prep. oh and read uncle tom's cabin which may take several years. but i have just discovered that i don't have a lecture tomoro at 9am...this is good.
i don't think i feel very well. am in slight pain currently but heyho, must learn to live with such things.

on a happier note, i had a fantastic day on saturday (i say day as i go to lynne's at lunchtime and spent my afternoon watching rugby and curling her hair). we went out to Sarah's 21st birthday dressed up as cartoons/superheroes. it was amazing and everyone put sooo much effort in. i loved every second of it!!!

right i think i may go and tackle the shower in a minute and hope that i get to see a nurse tomorrow!!
xxx

have just found my mothers diary from 1978...very amusing!!! marking boys on a scale of 1-10, skipping lessons, getting worried about friends random doctors appointments, roadtrips, not getting up until stupid hours of the day...bloody hell am turing into the mother!!!

have watched the Brit Awards this eve. among the winners were Adele, Mika, Take That, Mark Ronson and Paul McCartney - for future reference!!!

that's about it really. have had a rather dull day. went out for lunch with Daniel, which was nice (got me out of the house) umm i actually did some work!! ooo my mother has decided that we must go shopping and being the kind and friendly daughter i am, i have agreed :-D

well yup, that is it for today, getting highly excited about dressing up as Lara Croft on Saturday really can't wait will be abosolutely amazing!!! ive made gun holsters out of cereal boxes and everything!!!
xxxxx

bored...very. how many more days can one take without going completely insane and jumping out of a window??
i have now been at home for a week and i think the confined spaces and restricted movement is starting to get to me.
at least i had a day without my family today - they went on a trip out with Keira!!
-interesting. she is now here (again) and probably staying the night (again), at the moment there are a few conspicuous noises coming from the brother's room - may have to put some music on.
hhmmm what can one do?? i could read a book, or learn something useful or even write something but currently i am without muse or effort.
am currently talking to my friend Sarah who has informed me that our friend Gemma saw our previous canadian lecturer hugging some other women. Gemma is now under the impression that they are an 'item'. i am not inclined to jump to such rash conclusions but this would amuse me no end. although maybe we are just unaware of the Canadian culture. maybe it is similar to eskimo nose rubbing or something. Canada is a rather chilly country - maybe they hug more in order to keep warm. these accusations (after all) are coming from citizens of a country whose only level of affection is shaking hands. we are a people of stiff upper lips (however painful that may sound). i also think we are generally highly prone to criticising others. this is not always a bad thing i guess (when it is funny) but hugging someone..??? i obviously wasn't there so will not assume the worst. but then what would be 'the worst'? so what if she is lesbian/bi/ whatever...this is the 21st century and i think maybe watching a canadian lady hug someone is not quite so scandalous as it has been made to believe. however, what's a little rumour now and then between friends...i am always one up for a bit of controversy now and then. i personally quite like to get out my long handled spoon and do a bit of distant stirring up if the mood so takes me!!
xxxxx

a little poem during my moment of creativity:
Keeping you close, your hands taking mine
Holding on tightly, to uncertain time.
Dancing through streams of transparent sun
Time slowing down as we try to run.

My feet falling down, your hands touch my cheeks
You pick me back up, my legs feel weak
And two thousand angels take up their seats,
Up by the sunbeams beside heaven’s gates.

Watching your back, pulling my arm
My legs falling over, your clothes getting torn,
Angel’s commanding the length of the day
You drag me along and we run; run away.

Time is our chaser, the angels; our fate
And slowly but surely they open the gate.
Your eyes glazing over, you search deep inside
To where my heart’s beating – our two souls collide.

We are one of the same, and as seconds fade
My cheek bones turn salty, as tears are made.
My muscles are breaking, you’re shouting my name
We must run forever, we’re one of the same.

I fall to the floor, there’s blood on my palms
You’re screaming, I’m crying as you take my arms
You must keep on running; our arms are entwined
Your lips touch my head; your heart takes my mind.

The angels are falling; you pick yourself up
And onwards you run toward ungoverned luck.
I watch you for always as time tracks you down
You’re part of forever; the noise of you’re sound

I can’t outrun time, I can’t be alone
I need you to hold me, to take me back home.
But you ran to nowhere, to where I can’t be,
A place where the angel’s will never take me.

But deep in my dreams, while I wait at the gates,
I hope that your legs will outrun your fate.
The palm of your hand still rests on my face
And somewhere inside, your heart I can trace.

I watch you forever; you run through my dreams
Catching the red of those transparent beams
And hope that some day these angels will see
And make, for one day, time end just for me.


hope it is not too ridiculous/sentimental/weird!!
xx

o and i forgot to say....happy day of valentine...such a stupid day if u ask me!! someone tried to sell me a teddy in ASDA, who do they think i am??? mrs valentine??? i thinkth not!! xxxx

well that has been an eventful few days!!
i am currently at home after being in hospital since tuesday :-(
my parents came to get me from Notts on Monday eve as i couldn't move and i went to the Drx on tuesday morn and they then referred me to the BRI. while i was waiting in the BRI for 5 hours to be seen i needed a drug top up as was in pain (with an absess) and they gave me a drug called codine, which i then found out i was allergic to. after reacting to that for a while and subsequently collapsing on the floor, they put me in a bed and started giving me large quantities of morphine (lovely). i then stayed in overnight (being put on drips and all sorts) i eventually had an operation to remove it on wednesday afternoon!!!
it is now thursday. i am at home, have been to asda and my father has confused Adele with the Spice Girls so i do believe things are starting to return to normalacy.
however, i do not want to be operated on again (a terrifying experience, during which i cried like a baby and then fell asleep whilst trying to think of 'nice things', that turned out to be listening to crap music and drinking strongbow with the people i love), i also now have mass bruises on my arms where they tried to insert needles into my veins and failed as i have crap veins. my blood pressure went from normal to high (during reaction) to an abnormal low after op and they thought they would have to put me back on oxygen...
all in all its been an eventful week and i desperately want to go back to uni next week however have just read through a letter and it says my dressing may need changing daily for up to two weeks....i hope my skin heals excessively quickly!!!!
well that is all!!
last weekend seems like a year ago. friday was really good fun, had drinks then went to vicky's to drink more and play mass twister..the majority of photos on my camera atm are of peoplse's bums...sexual stuff!!!
right best be off...need a drink!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

well it is friday night, people have made their way/making their way northwards. im sat waiting for life to occur so that i can have predrinks (which i have actually started) before trecking it over to vicky's so that the party can really start!!!
hhhmm currently bored and ready to rock and roll despite injury to my tailbone which won't go away however lynne shat pos be taking me to the hospital tomoro depending on how it feels then!!
hhmm may need another drink think am guna be on one tonight, mainly to kill the pain!! have drunk my second strongbow of the day in half an hour which is rather bad considering the amount i could be potentially drinking at vickys :-s
i could pos go downstairs and watch tv, might be a plan!!!
dont think SJH and Dan will be here until half past (it has takenn them, so far, 4 and a half hours, which is stupid as it takes my father 2 and half!!) they r silly!!
eugh right one is rambling and one does not want ppl to think that one is tipsy as one has only had one strongbow....how im guna get to vickys in the state i could easily be in is beyond me!!
adios...hope i live to write again (or whatever!!) !!!
xxxxxxxx

7 months to go. I will be hopping on a plane – American Airlines or similar – and flying out to the Deep South to start a new ‘school’ year in the sun. 7 months…there is nothing in that length of time. It has almost been that long since the summer and those months have flown by but I should be looking forward to this experience, not dreading it.

Ok, I’m not dreading it; ‘dreading’ is too harsh a word to use. I’m scared (mainly about how I’m going to get all the clothes I want to take with me on a plane where I can only carry a limited amount of luggage). I can’t (as I have done in the car in the past) sacrifice my mother’s safety in order to fit in an extra pair of shoes, or the odd table.

No, let’s be serious, I am genuinely scared. Scared about those last few weeks at home in the summer. Scared of the conversations that will be had about me leaving the country – maybe I’m being a little self-absorbed but I think I’m entitled to it this time. I am however getting a tad excited about my 21st/leaving party experience but I can’t help but think it might get a bit emotional.

Regardless of the scared attitude of the present moment, I have to say I am also very much looking forward to the whole experience. Hopefully my endearing English ways will win over these peculiar American people (maybe even American male people – with any luck) and I will make several friends. I want it to be a year of partying, having fun and, with a bit of luck, growing up slightly and then, on my return to the colder climates, I will be able to fend for myself in a more successful way than I am at present. Currently, relying on friends from home visiting, or relying on the train systems to take me back home at least once per semester, I am unable to live away from what I know for too long. This, I hope, will be partially rectified by my flight across the Atlantic and my total dependence on my own intellect (or stupidity) to find my feet and create home number X (I lose count of the number of ‘homes’ I have in this world).

Well, it will definitely be an experience – a life event worth remembering. And I think that is where I will leave it, with an upbeat paragraph about the highly diverse and extremely interesting I am going to be going to in 7 months time. As, I suppose, we mustn’t criticise the whole experience too much because we all know, the world ‘loves’ America (or, was it, America loves itself?).

it is sunday, it is 12pm, i am still in pjs and have really not done very much today, at all. maybe i should actually read an article or two today so that i can at least pretend i have done something constructive with my life!!!
if all else fails, i suppose i could read belle de jour!! ooo the radio has been highly good this morn, a bit of 'addicted to bass' and other olde worlde dance like songs. i have been bopping along - as you do - no wonder i don't get any work done!!!
right must read an article, then i shalt allow myself to watch some form of tv. i may even start watching Skins, as a treat for doing work.
ooo and i can also have lunch in an hour - i hate the fact that being bored and doing work makes you hungry :-s
xxxxxxxxx

well it is February and it is cold. very cold actually, it even snowed yesterday :-s
i have been to Sainsburys, cleaned my room (including dusting and vacuuming), read a couple of articles on various things and am about to read some slave book thing!!!
i think my day has generally been rather productive!!!
im thinking about starting an essay soon, hhmmm may wait until i get my exam results on mon :-s really not looking forward to this as my exams were awful, hopefully with my rather amazing essay results they will not turn out too bad!!
heyho, i am sooo busy next week,
Mon: exam results, psychology experiment, gym,
Tues: doctors, badminton, maybe gym
Weds: day of mass work, vicky's
Thurs: Lynne coming (which will completely disrupt my life
Weekend: mass problems over which friends i decide i want to be with (or rather should be with), neil gave me the look of disgust the other day when i said i may not be able to go to Kelly's events but he does have a point and i do feel bad. eugh i really don't know what to do. i guess i am going to her meal next week and i will go to pre-drinks as i believe they will be here, unless vicky decides she wants to go out on friday night and then life will get even more complicated. hhmm should really ask her what she is actually doing so can work out time control (or something)
xxxxx